dance
18
CHI2LV2HI
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dance: its nothing anybody can tell me what to do.
Blog: the thoughts i wished i said out loud.
Day by day, im trying my hardest to think positive and make the most out of each day. When you know more than 110% that you want something more than someone else is pretty obvious. When your constantly working hard for something then you see someone working less than you but it comes to them easy. I’m so upset. I’m so confused, getting contracted has always been a number one priority for me and then someone comes by and breezes through this whole thing. It’s so frustrating when your working hard and keeping that motivation when constant people keep throwing shit in your face. When you know you want it, you are willing to do anything just to have especially if it benefits your entire life. Ever since the 9th grade, I’ve always been number 2 number 4, never number 1. I don’t understand, I do my best and do what I got to do. But I honestly am trying my hardest to find what I’m missing, find what I need to do be number 1. I’m a normal average person but my family isn’t. Everything is money to them because of how “successful” my older brother is. It’s so hard to keep my head up and not give up when even your own family doesn’t support what you do. I’ve never felt so alone ever in my life. Yeah I have friends but it’s hard for someone to understand who’s not in the same position and your friends that are in the same position, your talking to a person for comfort who gets what you’ve always been wanting so getting comfort from them doesn’t help either. I know I have to keep pushing, I know I have to keep going but when it’s not in my control, what do I do? How do I keep going when the power is no longer in my hands? Its so hard to keep walking as if nothing bothers me, it’s so hard talking to the people who got what you wanted when you’re still working for it. For me, I just ignore the world. What am I suppose to do? I feel so helpless. I feel so confused, upset, hurt…ever since i landed here in Hawaii, things have been constantly throwing shit in my face. New unfortunate events keep happening. Idk what it is, whether it’s karma or just bad luck. It’s to a point where I’m so upset that I forget to cry. Seriously just shoot me now!
What a wonderful event today in the middle of the winter, even though it feels like summer! (Taken with instagram)
Ready for tonight! It’s going down at winter wonderland 💙 (Taken with instagram)
Hawaiian blue Acai berry parfait, one of the greatest things I’ve ever eaten before! Mhmm :) 👍 (Taken with instagram)
